Confession: I can be a pretty good minister sometimes because I’m a terrible Christian.
What I mean by that is, I know how to walk alongside people struggling, because I’ve struggled. I get what it feels like to fail God, because well, if failing were an Olympic sport . . .
I’m not proud of this. And it is no encouragement to “sin it up” so you can be relevant. (See Romans 6:15)
What I’m getting at-- is that I’m not loving God like I want to. In fact, I’m not loving God as much as I have at some points before. I am loving God more than I loved Him yesterday, but that’s not enough.
He hasn’t gotten any less worthy of love and so I know the problem is with me. And you. If you’ve walked with God for any length of time you’ve probably been here.
Psalm 63 gives me a lot of encouragement.
As the words of this psalm poured out, David was in the wilderness, literally; and his soul wasn’t exactly feeling over-nourished either. There’s a good chance that this was the time his son Absalom was trying to overthrow his throne and he had to flee to the desert. (2 Samuel 15) Not your best day.
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:1-8
I wouldn’t say I’m going through a tough time, or in a wilderness by any means. But I am discontent in the way I am walking with God. This Psalm encourages me in the way to cry out to God. I am so thankful that pretty early in my walk with Christ, I heard a worship leader say something to the effect, “If the words of these songs aren’t true in your life, pray that they will be.” That was fuel to my worship because I knew I couldn’t always honestly sing some of those lyrics. But it has given me a goal ever since then, to pray that I would mean the words of the song and to pray that I would live the words of the song. I can’t always sing, “Earnestly I seek you,” but God, my prayer is that I would earnestly seek you. I can honestly pray that. I can sing if that’s what my heart means.
--Are you there? Are you in a place where you know you need to love God more? Are you “wanting” to “want to?”
Love is a mysterious thing. I recognize I can’t make myself or others love God more, but what I can do is try to position myself where I can “behold His power and glory.” Whenever, I realize worship is not my natural response, I know that my attention has been diverted from the greatness of God. However much I have religious activities in my life, I must not be beholding the glory of God--because if a Christian truly gazes at the beauty of the Lord, worship erupts.
I also know people can find themselves not even “wanting” to “want to” –if this is you, beg God to show Himself to you and captivate your heart. If you don’t have the words to say, pray that Psalm 63 would be true for you.
His “steadfast love is better than life” and it’s the only hope for true joy. False loves will disappoint. But His love . . . His love is better than life.
God, may we earnestly seek you. May we cry out—may our souls thirst for You. May we look upon You in the sanctuary, beholding Your power and glory.
Remember the times you've focused on His glory before.
If you are in a place of desolation, a time when you don’t even seem to have the energy to cry out, fall down at the feet of God. Surrender, give up, collapse into His grace. God is the one who brings death to life and beauty from ashes.
And -- God is completely adequate to work with terrible Christians.
